Too busy to rest

Elizabeth Kolbert summarizes the new book [Overwhelmed](http://www.amazon.com/Overwhelmed-Work-Love-Play-When/dp/0374228442) with [a comparison to what John Maynard Keynes expected our society to become](http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/books/2014/05/26/140526crbo_books_kolbert?currentPage=all).

> By 2028, he predicted, the “standard of life” in Europe and the United States would be so improved that no one would need to worry about making money. “Our grandchildren,” Keynes reckoned, would work about three hours a day, and even this reduced schedule would represent more labor than was actually necessary…

> In the future, Keynes imagined, the fruits of capitalism would redeem capitalism…

> It is, to say the least, disappointing that things haven’t turned out that way—that inequality has grown, that leisure is scarce, that even the rich complain of being overwhelmed. And yet so much of what we do, collectively and individually, suggests that we still believe more wealth is the answer. Reexamining this belief would probably be a good idea—that is, if anyone had the time for it.

Wonder and Wonders

> Everything is in an attitude of mind; and at this moment I am in a comfortable attitude. I will sit still and let the marvels and the adventures settle on me like flies. There are plenty of them, I assure you.

> The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.

– [G.K. Chesterton](http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Tremendous_Trifles/Chapter_I)

Experiences and memories

> Our lives are governed by the remembering self. Even when we’re planning something, we anticipate the memories we expect to get out of it. The experiencing self, which may have to put up with a lot in return, has no say in the matter. Besides, what the experiencing self has enjoyed can be completely devaluated in retrospect. – [Daniel Kahneman](http://m.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/a-834407-4.html)

How you become happy

> Of the 136 children invited to share some of their sets of stickers, two participants stood out for giving away their entire supply. Asked in a videotaped interview why he gave away all his stickers, one child responded: “That’s how you become happy”.

[Smart kid](http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204450804576623162047263634.html).

How to buy happiness

[According to Daniel Gilbert and others in the Journal of Consumer Psychology](http://dunn.psych.ubc.ca/files/2011/04/Journal-of-consumer-psychology.pdf):

1. Buy more experiences and fewer material goods
2. Use your money to benefit others rather than yourself
3. Buy many small pleasures rather than fewer large ones
4. Eschew extended warranties and other forms of overpriced insurance
5. Delay consumption
6. Consider how peripheral features of your purchases may affect your day-to-day life
7. Beware of comparison shopping
8. Pay close attention to the happiness of others

The paper goes into more detail and gives good examples…interesting stuff.

Design, too

[Prints here](http://2046shop.bigcartel.com/product/quote-1-don-draper).

Gotta love that attitude

> “People may say I can’t sing, but no one can ever say I didn’t sing.”

– [Florence Foster Jenkins](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Foster_Jenkins)

Do what you love.

My favorite songs

I finally put together a sharable playlist of my favorite music from the past few years. No particular theme or criteria; but at some point I went completely nuts for each of these songs. To paraphrase the [Dos Equis spokesman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Most_Interesting_Man_in_the_World), “I don’t always listen to music, but when I do, I listen to a single song on repeat for days at a time.”

Here’s [the list of my favorites](http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/playlist/Songs+That+Make+Me+Crazy/50511854?src=5), mostly in alphabetical order by artist but leading off with Mr. Blue Sky, my latest obsession:

The only ones missing (from Grooveshark, the service I used) are “The Three Of Us” by Ben Harper and “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel.

Looking over all of these, it’s interesting to remember where and when I listened to them. Many of them I heard for the first time, or loved for the first time, when they were used in movies (Good Will Hunting, Once, Big Fish, Garden State, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and amazingly American Wedding were some of the most influential); there’s something about music when combined with storytelling and video that is especially powerful. Some I learned about from friends on the cutting edge of new music, and some were simply popular radio songs I overheard and later Googled.

While I still enjoy most of the music, it’s clear that some of the charm is from memories of the situation where I first heard them. Listening again brings back the feelings I had at the time and makes me feel like I’m back in that context. The strongest example of this for me is Nirvana, where listening to Nevermind (and especially “Smells Like Teen Spirit”) puts me right back in 8th grade, on the bus headed to a field trip, where a friend handed over his Walkman and the music blew my mind. I have to be careful listening to music, because certain songs will put me in such a nostalgic state that I’m lost for the rest of the day.

I don’t know if everyone has the same reaction to music, or where exactly mine came from, but I love the ability of music to transform my mood and my outlook. Powerful stuff.

Watching the thrill

What thrill looks like. Thrill [documented](http://www.thrilllaboratory.com/experience/oblivion.html) by Brendan Walker, [one of my design heroes](http://www.ryskamp.org/brain/?p=4150).

Knowing what you care about

[Merlin Mann](http://www.43folders.com)’s writing around this time last year was very influential in my thinking during my sabbatical. [Specifically](http://www.43folders.com/2010/02/05/first-care):

> Before you sweat the logistics of focus: first, care. Care intensely.

I think understanding what you care about is vastly underestimated. Mostly, we subscribe to the myth that we care about whatever we’re doing. But when you have to drag yourself to the table every day for more, maybe you don’t actually care.

And that’s ok. You can’t force yourself to care about something any more than you can force yourself to grow another ear. Care is something that comes from the combination of what’s inside you and what you encounter.

You can, certainly, put yourself in situations that give you the *chance* to care about things–for instance, visiting an AIDS hospice center, or meeting with immigrants from another country, or going on a missions trip to a suffering community–and hopefully in some of those situations you will realize that you really do care, about important things. Some people say that great innovation just comes from trying lots of things and finding what works, and I think understanding your passions works the same way. But you can’t force yourself to care about something that you just don’t…care about.

The bit that really stuck with me was [Merlin’s earlier application of this philosophy to “priorities”](http://www.43folders.com/2009/04/28/priorities) (which [I noted at the time](http://www.ryskamp.org/brain/?p=3644)):

> *A priority is observed, not manufactured or assigned. Otherwise, it’s necessarily not a priority…*

> When my daughter falls down and screams, I don’t ask her to wait while I grab a list to determine which of seven notional levels of “priority” I should assign to her need for instantaneous care and affection. Everything stops, and she gets taken care of. Conversely – and this is really the important part – everything else in the universe can wait.

Priorities are a reflection of what you really care about, because they are the things you actually do. And since you can’t force yourself to care about something, your priorities are a reflection of who you really are.

How do you apply this? First, understand what it is that you really do care about, by observing what you actually do. If you’re not satisfied with that, go out and seek new opportunities to discover something else you care about. And then, once you realize you care deeply, sacrifice other things for that and you can do truly great work and be happier in life.

I’m still discovering more about the things I truly care about, but this philosophy has already led to a greater focus on relationships and health, and a tremendous reduction in stress about the things I thought I cared about but that I really didn’t. Know what you really care about, and don’t pretend you care about things you don’t.