> Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we\u2019re central to the universe…(2) we\u2019re separate from the universe…and (3) we\u2019re permanent. Now, we don\u2019t really believe these things \u2013 intellectually we know better \u2013 but we believe them viscerally, and live by them, and they cause us to prioritize our own needs over the needs of others, even though what we really want, in our hearts, is to be less selfish, more aware of what\u2019s actually happening in the present moment, more open, and more loving…<\/p>\n
> And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won\u2019t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit.<\/p>\n
[A lovely and probably quite surprising graduation speech by writer George Saunders](http:\/\/6thfloor.blogs.nytimes.com\/2013\/07\/31\/george-saunderss-advice-to-graduates\/). The most interesting part of becoming a parent to me was certainly how explicit the choice was between my (continued) selfishness and their happiness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
> Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we\u2019re central to the universe…(2) we\u2019re separate from the universe…and (3) we\u2019re permanent. Now, we don\u2019t really believe these things \u2013 intellectually we know better \u2013 but we believe them viscerally, and live by them,…more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[370,3],"tags":[358],"class_list":["post-5509","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness-2","category-personal","tag-tagged"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9wjHJ-1qR","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5509","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5509"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5509\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5511,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5509\/revisions\/5511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5509"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5509"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bob.ryskamp.org\/brain\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5509"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}